A man sitting alone eating shrimp pasta, cocktail in-hand, singing along with Taylor Swift and living his best life. I adore him.

Why on days you buy groceries do you wanna order takeout?!

MUST WATCH. CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. Brilliantly written, visually stunning. Music is perfect. Casting is *chefs kiss.* 11/10.

CW ACTORS :: I’m the age of those playing high schoolers but I look like the adults. What is this unknown middle ground.

Made a mini #charcuterie situation for my lunch tomorrow and realized it’s just an adult The Real Lunchables. Then everything in my life made sense.

Can we get a "Diet Coke Near You" locator? We have the technology. Diet Coke Not the store locator. Like I just need ONE Diet Coke. Right now. #DietCoke #Gimme

Called Todd P. Western IV on Slack today and he gave me grief for calling, not messaging. THE ART OF A PHONE CALL IS DYING PEOPLE.

✨CELEBRATE ME! ✨ Officially the longest I’ve worked somewhere without logging in to a brands Instagram account. Might not seem like much but HAVE I MADE IT?!? 🤩

If you’ve never come home and not wanted but NEEDED a cheeseburger I don’t think your job challenges you. I said what I said.

plumbers and contractors are worse than children. new tub installed - flooded our kitchen below - but no one wants to file the insurance claim so we sit with molding insulation until someone takes responsibility. children. absolute man child behavior.

my insurance company's email signature says... 🙃 ****It is my job to ask you about Life Insurance. Please don’t make it my job to tell your family you didn’t have any. ***Some husbands and wives don’t believe in Life Insurance ~ All widowers and widows do…. #wtf #insurance

It’s like Goldilocks and the three bears except NONE of these are right. Apple WHY?!

-11, windy, cloudy, early morning a Minnesota. Girl walks into coffee shop in slides. 👡

Overheard at HH: “I’m planning going to go so hard into these chicken nachos. It’s going to be humiliating.” 🍗 🧀 🫕 🍅 🥑 Okay, maybe that was me.

Everyone in a winter climate rn knows those moments between freezing cold outside to immediately unbearably, scolding hot when they go inside. Everyone.

“The vacuum is full, should I empty it?” MEN.

Its even sweeter if this has been said to you and now you think about it being said to them. L O L.

Anyone else ever look at a recipe and think “that’s not enough garlic” ??? Please validate I’m not alone.

For every gift purchased off our wedding registry on The Knot, they'll donate to our favorite charity! #TheKnotGiftsBack In a timely manner... we have chosen Planned Parenthood.

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary