good statements for women to practice: 1. NO. 2. you interrupted me, i'm not done talking 3. that's not funny. 4. i already know that. 5. that won't be necessary. 6. you're making me uncomfortable. 7. that's not appropriate.

This is like seeing a young picture of Meryl Streep

Destruction of the White House East Wing began today. Here it is in better times with better residents.

Cranky because I want fried rice (specifically chicken fried rice) but I don’t know where to get it outside of Panda Express because everyone here does that nasty ass STL soy onion version.

There was something I wanted to do tonight but now I can’t remember what it was. FOMO and I don’t even know why. Damn.

The Detroit Lions Plunder The Buccaneers on #MNF

I love when a man makes my life easier (allows me to change plans last minute without complaint).

The Blue Jays’ last World Series appearance led to a one night stand involving a Hooters waitress that resulted in this kid being born.

I literally dreamt about not being able to sleep??? Tf is that?

Getting in shape for the season 🌊🌊….. Actually the season might be here.

I just don’t think I care for donuts anymore and I am deeply struggling with this development.

Did you know that you don’t have to an opinion on everything? It’s pretty cool. You can actually just shut the fuck up.

While I’m being pissy: I don’t think I’m better than anyone else but I do think that I can always be a better version of who I am & for some reason this rubs people the wrong way. I’m not fine with being stagnant in my growth & I’m not going to apologize for it. Get over it.

An abandoned Victorian era schoolhouse in Dallas City, Illinois, built in 1896. It's been sitting since 2006 and is slated for demolition, but apparently they can't even find the money to demolish it.

AND ALSO YOUR DICK ISN’T AS BIG AS YOU THINK IT IS

Not wanting the Dodgers to win was enough for me to root for them but this is a nice bonus.

The company is doing a virtual altar for Día de los Muertos and I think that so damn cool (and inclusive).