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I hate to be the one to say this but they’re not actually apolitical. They’re conservatives who don’t want any of the smoke. The reason why they want to date left-leaning women is because they want to be the ones who to put them in a cage. Cue the Trevor Noah quote

i really believe unironically consuming this type of content is good for the soul

why is the pressure to “be the bigger person” always placed on the person who was wronged?

oh sorry about bouncing my leg. i’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore

Hanging out with my kid at the park produces more value for the universe than your entire career in advertising.

can't believe millennials had to smoke out of soda cans and apples then blow it all into a toilet paper roll filled with dryer sheets while gen z can just pull out a weed pen and hit it in the middle of target

hate when the tattoo artist tells me to stand “normally” because i thought i was already doing that but now im going to have figure this out

Intimacy is loving people through their shame and I fear this is where most people stop

Very crisp image. I can practically see the institute where I studied how to be stupider

what’s going on i haven’t seen you in the enchanted forest or the meadow lately

i hope nobody see me eating by myself and feel sorry for me im having the time of my life

ㅤ

People whose parents gave them an downpayment on a house in their twenties after paying for their college degree, their first car, and their health insurance until age 26 probably shouldn’t give financial advice.

One of the worst things a jig can be is up.

If homosexuality was such a big sin they woulda scribbled it on that rock with the rest of the commandments PUSSASSHOE

i don't like seeing people compare gen AI to wikipedia. gen AI is an affront to human life and flourishing. wikipedia is one of the most extraordinary things human beings have ever accomplished. they are nothing alike!

saw three female house sparrows foraging together and murmured “shawties on squad mode” and they all stopped and looked at me

if you set aside the fact that this is a march for a cop that crashed his car choking on a hot dog, which is very funny, this is the most horrid march discipline I've ever seen in my life

shelby ミ☆ the nice guy is often never nice if he can’t get what he wants from you!