Is there any better feeling than getting to inbox zero on a Monday?

If people could stop spamming my Twitter DMs with offers to teach me how to make money on Twitter, that would be great. I’m just here to piss about mate, I need one social platform I don’t have to take seriously. Let a girl live.

It’s not Christmas without my festive aubergine. And yes, my tree is up. You’re not my real dad.

Random man: Smile, darlin’ Me: I just came from a funeral. Him: Oh, I’m sorry. Me: Don’t be. I killed them. Him: 😟 Me: Smile, darlin’

Abandoned Twitter cos my new hyper focus is TikTok. Soz

All the random junk in my head is going on tiktok now. I’m getting brave/stupid.

My business membership community opens again on Friday to 100 new members. We have 500 on the waiting list. Gonna be a busy day! 🫠

Wisdom from my 8yo “Mummy, did you know on Black Friday black people get 10% off everything in the shops?” “Where did you learn that?” “My friend in class. He’s black so he knows” 😂

I always thought I was quite a weird person, until I scrolled through TikTok live streams. 😳

They said I could be anything, so I became my nan’s teapot. #SquidGame

As seen on my drive home today Marvellous

It’s always: - Female business owner - Female entrepreneur - Female CEO And never - Female cult leader 🤔

My paid membership community sailed past 400 members today, and I’ve ticked off 3 new countries we have members in. 📌 Malaysia 📌 Greece 📌 Kenya Slowly taking over the world 😍

Create a custom LinkedIn feed of ideal clients ➡️put your cursor in your search bar ➡️hit enter ➡️posts ➡️all filters ➡️latest ➡️past 24 hours ➡️author industry ➡️add industry of ideal clients ➡️show results ➡️bookmark page URL A whole newsfeed of posts from ideal clients only

LinkedIn is down and it's very bad timing as I have a bunch of crap I'm trying to catch up on! Is it down for anyone else?

Did I hand write and send 400 branded Christmas cards to my members across the world? Yes. Did I also fill them with pink glitter so they got a sparkly explosion opening them? Also yes.

Flying to Africa tomorrow to climb Kilimanjaro. See you when I'm back. Assuming I survive.

All that she wants is Ahmed's Sherbaby... (but pls no)

Hey @AbbySchenone Why are you stealing my LinkedIn content and all my photos and posting them on here pretending to be me? INCLUDING PHOTOS OF MY SON? Can people please report this twisted individual?