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Tatum is my spirit animal. 🙌🏻 x.com/espn/status/10…

Which will be the quickest, most painless death of me tonight?

Been married a year. We’re both still alive. Only risked our lives with undercooked chicken twice. I think I’ll print wedding pics now.

Thoughts while folding laundry: where does the missing sock go?! This poor fella goes into the laundry basket “head over heels” with its “sole” mate and comes out of the dryer alone and “toe”-tally useless. I’ve spent too much time on this. Bye.

I’d truthfully donate a kidney for a Purple Turtle chocolate chip cookie. Court House folks... ya feel me?

I never imagined I’d be messaging a full conversation with my 99-year-old grandma on Facebook. Girlfriend’s emoji game is strong!

Nick just said he’d like to set a budget for Christmas. (I immediately break eye contact.) ...little late, bro.

Nick Fox just tried to sneak a PlayStation 4 on to our baby registry. Let me just shoot it straight here... I’m already raising my first child.

I’ve reached the point in life when a sneeze is about as risky as Russian Roulette.

Drinks water — heartburn. Eats Tums — heartburn. Breathes air — heartburn. At this point, I’m fully expecting my child to be born with chest hair. Like father, like son I guess.

We’re sitting through a 7 hour childbirth class. The nurse recommended that we have a “code word” for pain tolerance. Nick has given me two choices: Fenway or Tom Brady. We’ll save him sleepless nights and let Twitter decide.

“Mrs. Fox, I really think you should zip up your coat. It’s very cold outside.” Thanks for the advice, Suzie. 😑

I leave my child with Nick for 2 minutes... And he Snapchats the world saying, “Banks open.” I’m sorry, my boy. I wish I could tell you his jokes will get better.

Only Nick Fox could find a way to turn the lyrics of “Mary Had a Little Lamb” into “Thomas Brady is the GOAT.” Our boy is gonna be so confused when he goes to Kindergarten.

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊-𝐓𝐎-𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊-𝐓𝐎-𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 On Sunday night Amaya Staton added her third consecutive double-double, becoming the 6th Raider to do so since 2007 & the first since the 2016-17 season. Amaya is one of 11 NCAA DI WBB players to do so this season. #RaiderUp | #RaiderFamily

Anything but ordinary for America’s pastime ⚾️🇺🇸 Wright State Baseball — you’ve got competition! Creativity > equipment at our Fourth of July celebration 💪 #RaiderUp | #RaiderFamily

Me: Hey, Nick. What’s the new WiFi password? Nick: icytomato122 I’m truly speechless.

Nick: “Can we give our kid the middle name Buckets? ______ Buckets Fox.” My poor children.

“If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry.” -all teachers in April

“Laur, would you die for the Red Sox? Say yes no matter what.” -Nicholas Fox