So the brain worm serial cheater who decapitated a whale & dumped a dead bear is gonna be in charge of our nation’s health and the chick who shot her dog and her goat and lied about meeting with Kim Jong Un is gonna be in charge of our homeland security. We are living The Onion.

Halloween + daylight savings + election season + minor surgery + not a full week of school all month = me, slowly losing my mind (and that doesn’t even include my “9-5”) I’d say I’ll sleep when I’m dead but I feel like someone would wake me up then too.

DO YOU WANT TO BE SECRETARY OF STATE?

trump is treating his cabinet like his myspace top 8

Still am, thanks.

My sister and I work in the same place so she called me today to ask a work-related question and still had to say “hey, no one’s dead” when I answered the phone.

you know the thing about biden is there were some days where i didn’t have to think about the president at all

Join us for Strokes of Fashion, an evening of fashion, music, food and drinks to raise awareness of strokes and aneurysms. Proceeds from Strokes of Fashion will benefit Crouse Neuroscience. Learn more & purchase tickets: strokesoffashion.ticketspice.com/strokes-of-fas…

I had a full morning doing interviews for film and have to introduce a presentation tomorrow at a conference so it’s a great time for an eyeball issue.

I only have one kid for the afternoon and wowwww did I forget that sometimes this can be easy.

I know I have a three year old cause right now there is a balloon in the bathroom and it must stay there bc he’s “at school”

Husband is taking the kids to the park, do I sit down for the first time all day or do I spackle the living room?

Nora, pretending to talk on the phone: I am doing something VERY important. And I have a fat bulldog. Bye.

Me: you’re so pretty! Nora: no you’re so pretty! Wait how about you’re pretty and I’m beautiful?!! Three year olds are the BEST.

In case you missed it, we officially reopened our Clocktower Cafe yesterday after many months of renovation. Check out the beautiful new space... #TakeMeToCrouse #CrouseCulture #WhenYouLoveYourJobItShows youtu.be/IX8k1LGUbE0

what the fuck did people do before real housewives

Very on brand for me to have my Christmas doormat out with my pumpkins and fall wreath. (In fairness, I bought the new mat and didn’t feel like bringing it inside and putting it away only to bring it back out in two weeks so🤷🏻‍♀️)

Eating snacks and drinking wine while your kids destroy your house is what mom friends are for.