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Florida man crashes a funeral pretending to be a ghost.

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Is it still a doggy door if she's a cat burglar? Woman Allegedly Uses Doggy Door To Burglarize Falconer Home wnynewsnow.com/2023/05/03/wom… via @wnynewsnow

But how does it taste on cornflakes?

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Today is National Pigs in a Blanket Day. But honestly, my pig prefers a pit of muck to a blanket.

Today is World Penguin Day.

Reasons Sea-Monkeys are better than your family: Sea-Monkeys aren't constantly shoving pictures of their potato-faced child in your face, forcing you to lie about how cute their child is. Their child isn't cute; she has a potato face.

Today is National Pretzel Day.

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Today is World Laughter Day.

Maybe mountain climbing isn't for you.

The Pope will start right away.

Reasons Sea-Monkeys are better than your family #2: SeaMonkeys don't fill their already hyper brat child full of fudge, then stand by idly as that child dumps mustard into your fish tank.

#3 Reasons why Sea-Monkeys are better than your family: Unlike your Uncle Finster, Sea-Monkeys don't burn their shed to the ground trying to remove a bee's nest with gasoline and a road flare.

#4 Reasons Why Sea-Monkeys are Better Than Your Family: Unlike your Uncle Algerius, Sea-Monkeys don't show up to the family picnic all liquored up on Mad Dog 20/20 and vomit into your Peggy's potato salad.