Listen, I’m just as offended as you are by the label’s layout, font choice and misspelling on my new single, but after the shit I pulled at South By Southwest I’m lucky I’m still even ON Warner Bros.

I HATE BEING QUARANTINED STUCK IN ONE STUPID BUILDING ALL THE TIME I WOULD RATHER GO BETWEEN THE SAME TWO OR THREE BUILDINGS REPEATEDLY DOING THE SAME ACTIVITIES IN AN ALMOST IDENTICAL ORDER NOW THATS LIVING

MAD MEN: The best ad isn't a spaceship: it's a time machine. It takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It lets us travel the way a child travels, around and around, and back home again, to a place where we know we are loved. FACEBOOK:

Upon waking, I noted that Roger Ailes was trending on Twitter and was subsequently aggrieved to find out that he had not died a second time.

this woman has identified a member of one of America’s most dangerous terrorist groups... [checks notes] Grammy winning artists The National.

Thank you James Bennet for publishing my idea that deserves scrutiny and debate

Whatever your politics, whatever your party or candidate, wherever you stand on one issue or the next, if you care about the United States of America and want it to flourish you have to admit that all this shit is objectively hilarious and rules very much.

If someone tries to scold you for thinking this is funny, simply tell them that you hope the president dies from the virus.

when I talk about building left unity this is what I mean

The Progressive Case For Martial Law by Glenn Greenwald

So if I'm to understand, George Floyd died of carbon monoxide poisoning while participating in a human pyramid to celebrate a World Series win? This is some surreal shit. #DerekChauvinTrial

In a bold defensive gambit, Eric Nelson shows the jury that a reasonable police officer is required to voice “neutrality, respect, and trust.” #DerekChauvinTrial

“If I had to do it all over again, I wish I would have never broken my leg.” - Charlie Morton, assessing a decision that seemed like a good idea at the time but somehow just didn't work out. theathletic.com/3694654/2022/1…

This isn't a really a valid test of the thesis since no one will see it anyway, but whatever: Soul Asylum > Prince. Like, unironically. Their run from ‘86-‘90 remains thrilling as hell. Thank you Mr. Elmo sir for the speechy freedom to say such obvious truths without persecution.

Based.

“Vote for me because I'm the only candidate who can and will be bought off by special interests” is certainly an innovative selling point. archive.ph/P8Xey

Happy election day, Wisconsin! Dan Kelly may have run the most vile court campaign of our lifetimes, but turns out he was actually just sticking with his theme of taking us back to the 1850s. Orsamus Cole survived the scurrilous slander, and Janet damn well will too. #scowis

Is augmented reality the future of homeopathy? THE PUBLIC DEMANDS ANSWERS

As a Twins fan, there was a part of me that kind of perversely enjoyed The Streak, just because it was so insanely improbable. But at long last not having to hear national announcers mention it every 12 seconds feels like winning a World Series. #MNTwins