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My five “by the year 2050” crazy predictions: 1) A legit 3rd party will form in US 2) Cyberattacks will be responded to with lethal force 3) Less than 10% of people will drive 4) Mass shootings ended due to drone/image tech 5) Literacy rates will decline

In fact, it’s the only thing that ever has …

I would be mad if someone ate my cat … but given his corpulence I’d also begrudgingly be impressed.

A thing I sang at top volume to my pets today … “Today is where your book begins … I hope you don’t get eateeenn.”

Some bad news for anyone who has crossed me recently

This is the best pairing between cat and human I’ve ever seen.

That new Netflix movie Uglies is so so so bad and I’m reveling in every terrible choice

We need to completely rethink America's golf courses. Steel doors surrounding the greens. Armored golf carts. And, above all, trained and armed caddies. No soft targets.

Probably just a semi truck?

The most human part of AI is the confidence with which it communicates incorrect information.

Lana Del Rey marrying an alligator tour guy has me shooketh because that COULD HAVE BEEN ME if not for my hate of humidity, swamps, guided tours, air boats, and lethal reptiles.

Every once in awhile Seattle is like, “well, what if we closed ALL the roads? Wouldn’t that just freak people right out?”

Under my administration the third G in Gregg will be taxed exorbitantly

Important question here - are you a fan of the hand on face smooch?

Is it even possible to avoid social media backlash? I thought the very point of social media was said backlash.

When does spooky season start and does it conflict with whatever is going on with pumpkin spice right now ?