my 3 month old baby is attention-seeking and performative

you held that door open in a performative way bro i could see it in your eyes

i see evil all around me so i put the horse blinders on and start running

they thought he was a mason but when you love hard you gotta keep a hand on your heart

just checked google maps and there are no detours bro. it's genuine risk lane or nothing. they can say we fumbled when we take the wrong turn but if we keep it moving we'll get there while they're still too scared to start the engine.

if you join the 27 club you get to spend the afterlife as an angel thanks to a loophole theologians have dubbed “mike trout’s law”

you can feel it in his handshake when a man has been to clam city. you can tell just by the way he walks yeah he’s been down oil drum alley.

let’s treat coors field like it’s high hrothgar tonight

how it feels to trade lanes with the car right beside you

future generations will look at woah vicky through the same lens we view plato

every day they grab me by the ankles and shake the loose change out of my pockets

when i catch a sinus cold that's the real me

Are you lost bruh

Hey watch my flank while I go make a fool of myself

We too old to be playing what we doing

i’m trying to see it as a test

you need to be embarassing yourself in ways you never thought possible on a daily basis

not from houston but we still chopped and screwed

patient zero. the one and only forebear. mother of all labubus

it’s not easy being a hater