Italians have small slanty eyes........ Oh, hang on....... That's italics

I went to Springfield because I did'nt 'alf fancy a bit of dog, but I could only get a carton of "Not Poodle"

Got to get up early tomorrow. I'm charged with the loss of R.N. Property (a blanket), at 'Request men and defaulters' Might end up in the rattle

Oh dear…..

Been out headbutting cars and it hurt. I dont always like what my little voices tell me

Nope!!

……….. no idea

What do you think of this idea? A numbering system based on doggies.... Please vote somewhere between 'woof' and 'woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof' I have seen online that you can do the same thing with piggies and oinks..... But that is plainly f*cking stupid

Ooh, another good night at Boys Brigade

"Gonna go up to the spirit in the sky That's where I'm gonna go when I die When I die and they lay me to rest gonna go on the piss with Georgie Best" Lovely hymn

The last time I sat on the Tube....... I got toothpaste all over my b*llox.

I'm right behind the Popemobile ,have been for ages . Keeps stopping and handing out icecreams.

We've got a spider in our front room that's big as a horse........🐎 He's under our telly

Edmund Hillary: "just think, Tenzing, here we are... At the very, very top of the world..." Sherpa Tenzing: "ah yes, we always like it up here..." Edmund Hillary: "shut up"

47 years ago today Talking Heads bought out "Psycho killer" FORTY-SEVEN!!! I'm so shocked by this that I might have a second glass of Phyllosan

Today there was a garage sale in the village to raise funds for the parish.......... I bought a garage.😯