I’m in my husbands fantasy football league this year and he’s showing me how to do it and it’s literally so easy. The way men talk about it I thought it required skill. Not at all.

drinking a pumpkin spice latte the way it’s meant to be drank - in 85 degree weather with 75% humidity

Feel like it’s hard to find a restaurant that immediately brings bread to the table these days. One of many small travesties to plague our current era

I am so so happy to share that I have two more books on the way with Knopf BFYR and my amazing editor Nancy Siscoe. I cannot wait to share THE WRONG WAY HOME with readers. This one has a particular claim on my heart, and I hope you’ll love it, too! ❤️🐋 🌊🌁🌿

You cannot convince me that Nick and Vanessa Lachey are human beings with blood pumping through their veins.

Does anyone know what they’re doing while cutting tomatoes? Or are we all having a bad time?

Spread my ashes at the Paper Source

I’ll tell ya what - I love a good pizza pie. Who’s with me?

I miss him

My husband was telling me about Jean Claude Van Damme doing the splits and I was so surprised he used to be so agile. Turns out I was thinking of Gerard Depardieu

Places serving nachos should be asking themselves how to best distribute cheese over chips before finalizing it as a menu item

Ordered Jimmy John’s from the one (1) location in Brooklyn and it’s been 45 minutes and we’re still waiting. It’s times like these that my heart aches for the Midwest. If I waited longer than 12 minutes there I could only assume the driver got in a horrific accident

imagining Nick and Vanessa sitting with robotic psychotic grins on their face for 30+ minutes waiting for the cameras to roll

why does everything have its own little fucking charger? Why can’t we have one charger? Why aren’t we working on this?! I have a lot of charger rage!!!

Friends, long time no see, recently Roast Whole Lamb is too busy, thank you for remembering me, I try to make sure to release videos frequently.

Ten minutes into Dune. No clue what’s going on. I think Oscar Isaac is hotter than Chalamet. Does that make me more millennial than Gen Z? Ugh

When the subway makes you go down a bunch of stairs just to go up different stairs — I don’t like it

Saw dune 2 last week still thinking about Chalamet’s svelte little bod riding that worm

Is Dominic Fike indie modern-day Schwayze?! listening now I have the same ecstatic feeling as when I walked around with my iPod nano listening to buzzin'

One thing about my husband is if someone has cauliflower ear he will say “that guy has cauliflower ear. Wrestler”