The only thing that will get me out of a twitter hibernation is @coffeybean90. Happy birthday to the worlds dirtiest laugh and shittest mini golf player. Love you very much hen xox (Twitter hates me so much it won’t let there be sound)

Shaun didn’t want to watch Breaking Dawn Part 2 because “it’s too psychologically stressful” but he’s spent the night playing Bloodborne????

How come every picture my parents take looks like they are driving past at 80mph even when all parties involved are stationary?

Watching this on loop today.

Who needs a filter when your bf has a shit camera that smooths you anyway x #NewProfilePic

Coming out of twitter hibernation to say my 95 followers should have all been at the Closet Organ gig, kg is our generations Avril Lavigne, the pop princess we all need. Here’s a picture of the back of peoples heads x

Come see my band please

My da wasn’t happy with my maws choice of straws for the pub Cate McAuley

I have had an overwhelming urge to watch bad Christmas movies for about a week, please give me some alternative feel good bad movie suggestions so I’m not listening to Jingle Bells in 23 degree heat

rest in power angel <3

We have Push Presents now can we make Contraception Compensation a thing? Cause I’m sore and fed up, give me stuff.

I am still not over the shock of realising it was cheaper to get from Nice to Monaco and back on a double decker train than from Wishaw to Glasgow central one way before 10am

“D’ye like plants ayeeee?”

Never have I been prouder to live in this wonderful community. #kenmurestreet

I couldn’t have worded it any better x