Put on my exercise clothes after I put the baby down. Said I’m going to sit on the couch for a minute & have a piece of salt water taffy. Promptly fell asleep and an hour later I’m getting up & going to bed #surgmomlife

When your skin smells like sunshine instead of OR gowns and scrub soap #weekendvibes #surglife

“Mom why can’t you just eat vegetables & exercise & be skinny like me & dad” Because I’ve had two children & you get pissed when I try to do anything that doesn’t involve you #jfc #shes6

She literally harassed me for half of the 20min peloton ride & 10 minute arms video I did today

Why was the CGI soo shitty in the new Doctor Strange movie? The first 20min was almost worse than some of the streaming-only marvel CGI

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary 10 years? Geebus

I hate Captain Underpants but I will give the author credit for the “freaks” reference in this Dogman comic

I want to drink a gallon of coffee and then go back to bed #postcall

As a breast surgical oncologist in Texas, what am I supposed to tell my patients who have just been diagnosed with an estrogen responsive tumor in the first trimester? Just wait for your cancer to spread??

@MayoIsSpicyy They’re roasting all those hypocrites

Lindsay Graham introducing a 15wk abortion ban is 100% republican damage control so those currently facing re-election can vote “no” then campaign on “not” being super anti-abortion & after the election going back to trying to ban all abortions in all states.

When you are on call and it turns out the patient is one of the nurse’s family members, and the nurse sees you and says “Oh thank god it’s you” That is basically the biggest compliment you can ever get as a surgeon

Don’t bother me, I’m doing important stuff. The baby & I have been balancing random toys on our heads for the past 10 minutes & highly enjoying ourselves #surgmomlife

Trick or treating was a success, kids in bed. Now it’s time to snuggle up with some of my fave men #Halloween2022

Ever since the jackass took over Twitter my TL has been full of right-wing garbage from people I don’t even follow. This is gross.

Been there, lived that, now a successful fellowship-trained surgeon #dontgiveup

I looked at my phone and was like WTF is this giant ugly X Also if this isn’t Twitter anymore why are they still called tweets

There is not much in life that can beat a good espresso martini #treatyoself

The audio log you find in a trashed office in a sci-fi horror game: