Someone just called me "Bert" at work, what does that even mean?

Burnt my tongue on a steak slice, now I'm cutting about sounding like Jar Jar Binks 😅

#SunnyD ... doesn't make you run up the walls like it used to.. 😣

Every time I get an #8BallPool request.. #StopItDad

Wouldn't mind being my dog. Just run around with floppy ears, eat what I want, crap where I want and best of all people still love me for it

Merry Christmas! Thanks to 900,000 people working today. 89k nurses, 46k nursing assistants, 17k docs & 22k police working over Xmas period!

Looking for a #GShock watch for the missus has now made me really, really want one too... #241

Day 1 of 31 of trying vegetarianism has begun.

The best thing I can give my partner is laughter... But that's mainly because I'm skint and read a lot of joke books as a kid.

Right. Got exactly 20 months to save until I get married; Time to nut up or shut up.

💀

I officially feel like im 40 years old.. thank God for the baby face #tired

What I'd give to be in bed right now. Bed is life.

If anyone wants get me some really fluffy socks; I'll be your best friend forever. Feet are like ice cubes!!

So Cowspiracy has opened my eyes a bit.

The thought of working tonight is making me want to hide in a cupboard..

I'm not useless. I'm the king of excuses.