Me: “A middle school team from your school got 2nd place in a math competition! Do you want to join math team one day?” 8-YO: “No.” Me: “Why not? Your dad did it.” 8-YO: “Well yeah but daddy is a nerd.”

First Halloween since leaving Texas. Kids finished trick-or-treating with zero (0) items containing a Bible verse. Win!

Daylight saving time ends Sunday and I for one am just thrilled for that whole extra hour of existential dread.

I apologize for the things I said while crashing from the sugar high caused by the 14 mini snickers I stole from my children's candy stash

When you get married, you never know what the future will hold. For example, I couldn’t have predicted that I’d be spending my Friday night yelling “IF YOU RUN INTO YOUR DAD’S TV HIT WITH NO CLOTHES ON I WILL THROW ALL YOUR HALLOWEEN CANDY INTO THE TRASH.” Yet here we are.

8 years/a lifetime ago. This (now much bigger) girl and her sister came with me to vote today. I teared up when they held hands and pushed the button for Kamala Harris. We are not going back.

I’m not a puppet Elon.. I’m a daughter of two immigrant parents that had to work their ass off to provide for me! I’m a product of welfare, I’m a product of section 8, I’m a product of poverty and I’m a product of what happens when the system is set up against you….But you don’t

Watching Barack Obama’s victory speech on November 4, 2008 from Grant Park was one of the defining moments of my 20s. Many young people voting for the first time this year were toddlers on that night. Here’s hoping they get to experience the same watching Harris this week.

Listening to these clearly wealthy white dudes in a D.C. coffee shop discuss how they are going to vote for Jill Stein "as a protest" is literally making me want to go lie in traffic. I cannot side eye hard enough.

On Election Day Eve, my fervent hope is that the worst person from your high school has a terrible night tomorrow

Good morning, friends. Today’s the day.

Sorry kids, you have to do your own bedtime tonight. I have to stay glued to the TV to see if our country picked an insurrectionist psychopath cult leader or an extremely qualified woman.

Do we think it’s too late for me to DoorDash a lobotomy?