i saw someone post on their insta story a picture of the lexus logo of their car with the caption “the only L’s im taking this year” and idk it was just really inspirational to me like im trying to have THAT type of 2019

u ever go to the store&plan on getting one thing so u dont get a cart but that one thing turns into seven things&then by the time u know it YOU are the walking shopping cart with things being held by your forarms & in your hands because ur way too lazy to just go back&get a cart

waking up from a scary dream during the middle of the night and then trying to force yourself to go back to bed shortly after is like one of the worst sleep experiences ever. will i end up back in that dream? will i end up in a different scary dream? sleeping is cancelled.

some of you have never been single for consecutive valentine days in a row and it shows

today i went to starbucks&ordered a hot venti cinnamon almond milk macchiato. when i got to the window they handed me an iced venti cinnamon almond milk macchiato. old me would have smiled, said thank u&drove away but new me said, “i ordered this hot”. i call that personal growth

i was hanging out with my guys friends last night like we literally were just sitting around in the living room watching tv and i noticed something. every single one of them had shoes on except me. when i asked one why his response was, “what if i have to get up and go somewhere”

im gna catfish some guy on hinge telling him to take me on a date & when he asks what day im free im gonna say mhmm pretty booked this week but next thursday i should be free. probs not gonna realize till hes already with me what day it actually is then boom im not alone on v day

theres nothing better than going to bed and randomly waking up in the middle of the night, checking your phone, realizing its only 2 am and that you have like 4 more hours to sleep before you have to actually wake up and get ready for work

things i plan to do for valentines day: 1. wake up 2. go to work 3. come home from work 4. eat dinner 5. shower 6. go to bed at a reasonable time to wake up for work again on friday

one of my favorite things about me is having a crush but not making it clear to my crush that i have a crush on them and then getting upset when my crush isnt crushing on me back ya feel

i totally understand the concept of being a “bad texter” bc i am one myself but if YOU choose to text ME “hey” & i text you back “what’s up” & all you decide to respond with is “not much you” i will uhhhh freak out and not respond at all

hangovers that don’t kick in until hours after you wake up are the worst types of hangovers there are. such a tease thinking im in good health to only find out hours later that im actually not

today my friends dead ass walked up to these guys and said “i will make out with you for a shot” and they said no, they literally said NO. i am dead and cannot even comprehend the audacity of those men. my friends are hot.

a girl just captioned her insta, “i just dropped a new single, it’s me; i’m single” and idk i just thought that was really creative, that is all. happy thursday.

someone once told me “don’t let a monday ruin your sunday” and that really stuck so now here i am on sunday drinking mimosas not letting monday ruin my sunday, cheers.

my mom just negotiated the honda that i just bought to such a low price that the dealer told her to never tell anyone how much i bought it for bc he never wants to sell a brand new car for that price again. joke was on them when they thought 2 dumb girls walked in today to buy

“let’s leave at 9:30 pm for the bar” turns into actually leaving at (maybe) 11 pm when u go out with ur girlfriends bc one needs to change her outfit bc “she doesnt like the one shes in”, the other has to finish her drink & the other doesnt feel drunkkkkk enough to leave just yet

driving and just saw a guy in a jeep with one hand on the steering wheel and the other hand chugging a corona. i mean i get it, it’s ‘rona season and all but let’s not do that while we’re operating a vehicle ya? driving drunk season is never

left my phone in an uber this weekend. i later found out this man had 1 out of 5 stars. ONE out of FIVE. so here i am, typing this tweet out on my brand new iphone because im sure you could have guessed how this story ends, he did not return it. 0 out of 5 ranking from me.

there’s two types of people out there. people that wake up hungover and nurse themselves back to health with water, sleep, and advil and then people that wake up hungover and nurse themselves back to health by drinking more booze to just get redrunk