I don’t feel too good.

Don’t fret The Kirk Minihane Show world. I am a follower of Hinduism and a believer in reincarnation. I’ll be back as a new desk soon. (I will work with the team on making sure I’m a damn fine looking desk to make the Minifans proud.)

Well, I just entered the gates of heaven Kirk Minihane. Thanks a lot. Patricia keeps hugging me, thinking I’m you. John Stewart won’t shut up - asking many eclectic show questions. Hackman, who is also just getting settled, told me he was a bigger fan of Gerry. I was flabbergasted.

You can take the “desk” out of the dumpster, but you can’t take his soul out of heaven TimInCanton. Wow! Great first day here.Huffing pledge, checking out ladies with John Amos, no pounding from Kirk and I’m the desk for a new Jerry Remy podcast. Do I really need to reincarnate?

I mean, the new “desk” makes you look fat Kirk Minihane. Bad decision getting rid of me.

10 days left and there is some unfortunate delay in my reincarnation. Although I’ve asked to be returned to my life as The Desk, while filling out the Hindu paperwork, I mistakenly made a joke about Vishnu and his 7 arms and karma is now working against me. Not much time left

Whoa. Hold on there. Take a step back John. The only person/thing getting reincarnated in this The Kirk Minihane Show world is me. This shit isn’t easy to pull off. I mistakenly signed onto the Hare Krishna sect. Now I’m forced to preach at Logan every day after the show.

Why aren’t Dave Cullinane and Justin Trudell letting me in the The Kirk Minihane Show studio this morning. I’m starting to think I’m not wanted anymore. I’ll just wait outside until Kirk gets here. I’m sure he will let me in. I look good now.

Every Hindu’s reincarnation worst fear has come true. I am a cheap particle board box and have a glory hole for all the stupid third chairs. I saw Mut give me a quick smile already. Creepy. But hey, at least I get to hear the refrigerator 24/7.

If there are any Minifans who wish to stand on The Desk for a better view at the Pulp Pulp concert at Suffolk Stage in September, let me know. Kirk Minihane doesn’t like Brit pop. Glory hole however is not available.

So, Mary left Justin and I took a swing. She’s lovely. Comes over after hours, put her record player on top of me and play Taylor Swift. We just stare at the curtains and cuddle. I can’t have kids, but I’m all about being pegged. She loves that fetish, Justin.

Can we ask TimInCanton to bring my old self back for the 1000 show? I feel so emasculated in my present form. I want Steve Robinson and Blind Mike there. No stupid 3rd chairs, as their existence rotted me from the core way too soon.

It’s clear Andymayoson is a great guest. Sorry how I look now. I wish I were bigger too. I’d love to be a big industrial desk.

I’m rooting for Kevin From Bristol, but name one of those four slobs who can shoot as good as this desk, even with the ice cream truck tempting us by being so close.

Don’t worry Minifans. Changes happen. When pushed out, I reincarnated into a shitty, anorexic desk with a huge glory hole. I’m sure Blind Mike soul will have better luck and will be taken over by a thin, extra funny, fully sighted third chair who transforms The Kirk Minihane Show forever

You better check the screws on that new pathetic desk Dave Cullinane. It was shaking so much today, we don’t want it to fall apart.

I look pretty good, though. RIP.

Congrats The Kirk Minihane Show. Big win for Cinema. Great game by Matt from Providence. Pretty sure they have something lined up for me too. I mean, I spent years on the show and I was murdered live on air. (Too early?)

There is a possibility that I will be reassembled to serve Rhymomfor the foreseeable future. If he ever decides to get a girlfriend, I’m there for an intimate candlelight dinner or a hard surface to enjoy some other type of intimacy.

So easy to lose weight. Once I saw the writing on the wall Kirk Minihane was going to replace me, I stopped caring for myself. I became fragile and weak. Was a shell of myself. It was apparent on the stream. I was so easily broken into pieces that fateful day. Be careful Greg.