Biden just wished Robert Kennedy a speedy recovery.

Just snuck plastic straws into this movie theater and the entire paper straw sipping audience won’t stop staring at us. Suck it, hippies.

Good Luck Gambling Bunny. Retweet or you’ll have bad gambling luck all season

Just found out I’m also pregnant with Dave Grohl’s baby

Just watched a movie with my son that has a Best Actor Academy Award winner that I once had a glass of wine with at the actor’s request. Son not impressed. Son now playing a video game with an NFL player that keeps calling him the N word and he’s freaking out. What a world.

Apparently it’s looked down upon giving all the Trick or Treaters 6mg Citrus Zyn’s. Pack of Karens in front of my house right now:

Starting to think the only reason most people vote is so they can take a dumb picture with that sticker for social media

This #Netflix #TysonvsPaul fight looks amazing in HD

My kids only respond to my texts with things like oker and ye I think a witch ghost is teaching them ancient Latin spells whilst I slumber

Grok Unhinged setting is absolutely bonkers and I love it Elon Musk

70% of the people in this airport have to be wearing a disguise There’s no way they actually look like that

Activate! Big Cat

Dudes rock

I never got over my parents divorce

I’m tricked by AI at least three times a day and I’m rip shit pissed about it

Hey Big Cat and Brandon Walker, did Liam Blutman shave and get a fresh cut? Working for the NFL now?

Let me cook here. Hey Clemson Football…Gundy for Dabo? We’ll even throw in some cheese fries from Eskimo Joe's. #OklahomaState #Cowboys #PistolsJammed

CHUNKY INDEED! Big Cat Max Dolente Pardon My Take

Dog 911: what's ur emergency? Dog: MY HUMAN WENT TO WORK Dog 911: so? Dog: WHAT IF THIS TIME HE DOESN'T COME BACK Dog 911: OMG Dog: OMG