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Nurse: Hi I'm Sandi I'll be drawing your blood today. Me: [not seeing a single red crayon] How?

catholics every friday during lent

if anyone’s still on here simon wants to wish y’all a happy holiday 💚❤️

tbh i think the ghost of christmas present is a waste of time it’s like i know what’s going on in my life at this very moment asshole i’m talking to ghosts.

just heard a british person. i cant do this right now

today, remember to honor an important piece of history. not a piece of shit.

my boyfriend sends me the sweetest valentines 💝 🥰

stupid fucking sponge keeps failing his driving test

stoked the eagles won tonight i love hotel california

put him on white lotus

mr. milchick… your outie just signed a 3 year deal

my gf has been gnawing through my door for the past 45 minutes. goodbye

what is the fucking tom hanks by hisself one?

hi just popping on to see how everyone’s doing on here? and also how deeply do you miss me? (say very deeply or i’ll haunt you if i ever die)

It figures that a post showing humans doing something good is just AI

Look mom I’m in the newspaper! nytimes.com/2025/04/03/art…

honestly the pope had the most understandable reaction to meeting jd vance

*wearing my All Planets Matter t-shirt on earth day*

[arguing with the uber eats guy dropping off my order] there's no way you didn't eat a fry

i came home to this