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🤰🏽Plowing down nachos next to you 100% guilt free so you know what you’re missing. It just doesn’t look as cool.

Damn I love a 6am Memorial Day gym

I just read my kid a book from the library “Duck Got a Job” about this duck who got a job in the city “with spreadsheets” and he didn’t like it so he quit after one day and then got a job as an artist and he was very happy WHAT KIND OF SHIT I made sure my kid knew that duck was

Chewing gum is a sign of low intelligence

This dude lookin at a map of Argentina and gettin all jealous 🤔🧐😂

Dude has GOT to watch This is The End it is *chefs kiss*

Because it was 1998?

Love it when a boomer gives me an email address that starts with “all lowercase”

This is so great ❤️

THIS

Perspective.

This is such a great business message. No one starting out wants to be in the shit. It sucks taking no’s. Sucks dealing with the state/filing paperwork til you can delegate it. Etc etc. But it’s 90% this just like anything else. What an incredible skill set to LEARN to enjoy the

Comparing the text style of my husband to me and my friend’s teenage daughter to her, and they are identical. Which is to say they’re both equally indifferent. I need emotion! Give me a few exclamation points and extra details!!

If Bryan Johnson can test positive for abnormally high environmental toxins in his body, there’s no hope for the rest of us.

10 year anniversary coming up next month. Down four cats, up three kids (almost) and a beardie. Life!

Said every recruiter

Ugh this is so true 😭

Very true. What is this age?

And then finally “you’re at the wrong CVS.” Like, the bastards.

One of the most underrated skills you can learn is the ability to ignore your mood and stick with the plan.