the muse may never know of these words that worship him he will find within them a familiarity yet my love he will not decipher

fleeting glimpses of his presence I try to capture as if I hold the right to observe him my sin to whisper his name praying for his letter to arrive forgetting his forgetfulness which only pertains to me while I obsess recklessly over feelings he will never surrender

bruh

a bih just wants some apple pie ᴖ̈

hey are you apple pie because i want you

why does god hate me? ( i have no apple pie )

do you feel it too the pull, the need to claim what’s already yours?

i hate that I want you to carry me in a way that’s not yours to do. i hate that part of me still thinks love looks like rescue.

walls once closed in tight now open to sky and wind i’m learning to breathe

Take me I am yours to use to bend and break as you please I will fade into your hands become what you desire and in giving all I lose myself willingly.

You started speaking in the language I use with myself. And I mistook that echo for intimacy.

who am I when I’m not obeying you? a trembling thing half formed, lost without the shape your will gives me. let me kneel let me listen let me be what you need.

i know i’m not the girl they imagine when they talk about forever she’s softer less mouth more miracle.

1 cheese string pls

I wake to ceilings that do not speak and brush teeth for a mouth that says nothing worth repeating.

purple hoodie slips messy hair and awkward grin angel with bad jokes

feeding your mum cheese strings in between rounds

there is a noise in me like static beneath skin a hum I can’t scrub out

time has rotted around us left us untouched suspended in this fever you reach for your cup and I could die watching it, the human grace of your hands.

i keep thinking if someone loved me hard enough
the heat of it would cauterize all the places i keep leaking from
the old wounds the quiet humiliations
the rooms inside me where the air never moves.