I got Rickrolled today.

We were just dangerously cut off in traffic by someone driving a Porsche Cayenne. When we beeped them, they had to transfer their cigarette from one hand to the other to flip us the bird. I can't believe the extent of Mark Zuckerberg's evil.

Lauren: "I have just two modes: 'Edna', or 'à la'."

A simile is when you say something is like a metaphor. A metaphor is like when you say something is a simile.

Look out for my upcoming books: Pacifiers for Dummies Mannequins for Dummies Crash Test Simulation for Dummies

Here's a sneak preview of the planned games roster from indie publisher Chucklefish: 2016: Stardew [Valley] 2021: Eastward 2028: Trade Wars 2037: Tree Awards 2049: State Reward 2071: Water Steward 2093: Edward Stewart 2116: Stardew Stardew [Valley]

Please check out my new app: it's like Audible but instead of books it's transcripts of podcast episodes.

Alice is a v v good poet and teacher and friend, please go have a listen

Simon Pegg's name at birth was Simon Poached Egg.

If y'all like Wordle and crosswords, you should try this thing I made: crosshare.org/crosswords/lZt…

Double niche joke: Both D&D and Eminem eventually stopped using D12.

We should reserve sidewalks for crabs ONLY

Ceci n'est pas une blague.

In order of release, the albums of Adele and Ed Sheeran: 19 21 + × 25 ÷ = 30 The only conclusion is that, collectively, they are bad at maths.

This is very clever and I wish I had thought of it first

Spelling in English is ACES! That's: A as in are C as in cue E as in eye S as in see

Best to worst, the Justs*: Dance Falafs (in Fitzroy North) For Laughs Juice Cuts Jeans * as decided by my friend Jess

Thinking about snails

Lizzo's name at birth was Elizabeth Olsen.