"Alan Garner: Just once I would love to tell someone how fucking ugly their baby actually is."

I really miss flip phones because at the end of a conversation you could always dramatically close them like bitch whatever.

@linde3066 . Gerlind ja mis die ou dae. 'I just wana throw my phone away' haha#ROTFL

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"SNSJames: I wish I was albino."

You had me at ".:: :.: :.. .:. .:."

At least I’m not racist. Everyone’s black to me.

What if i just started licking the dentists fingers while they were in my mouth