i say this with love and understanding: the path you have chosen in life is deeply in service of corporate power and personal enrichment. I am not a punk but I'm also not a fucking moron so I know that's definitely not what punk rock is. you're a massive loser btw

Someone who was inspired by the Dancing Itos absolutely WOULD be mad at John Oliver having more than one beat to a joke

Imagine being this washed. This gullible, this cocky about being this dumb — you’re the SECOND most significant living Cuomo! Good lord, how embarrassing. Start harassing more women, Chris! Get that SEO up! Hire a gen alpha to teach you how to not get tricked by the internet

So glad I went to wokeness rehab

You ever turn 43, wake up, and immediately understand why people used to be naturally dead by now?

(Getting the shit kicked out of me in shocking and historic fashion, losing teeth and one eye) Ready for more??? Ps I have a daddy

Can you tell us how he died, where, and why?

Those of you who don't know what authoritarianism looks like...this is it. All the gaslighting about previous presidents "what about...!!! Is bullshit. I've been talking about the slide towards NOW for 30+ years. Those earlier concerns were nothing. Now we are HERE.

The attempts to overthrow Obergefell aren’t about protecting marriage, they are about enshrining homophobia into law under the guise of Christianity. But make no mistake about it, that version of Christianity has nothing to do with following Christ—it’s all about baptizing

#ReleaseTheCuomoList

This is the most Approved By Daniel Levy quote I’ve ever seen. Put it on his tombstone

AI PROPONENTS: “Ugh, stop complaining! This is just a fun tool that’s great for brainstorming and organizing ideas! Stop acting like it’s going to be bad!” AI COMPANIES: “We paid a celebrity so we could put their face on a chatbot that teaches kids to fuck”

“why don’t broke people on food stamps just buy fresh food?”

No one who knows the name “Jared Goff” would think this

Gavin literally made him type in lowercase

A lot of conservative financial advice boils down to: move to a place that sucks and buy a house that sucks

It’s fun how we’re spending more than we ever have on police, supposedly have “historic” crime problems, and the solution is, spend even more on police. Two steps of logic is beyond this guy unless the logic is 1) see 2) grope

I heard a statistic that college students were having less sex than ever, and now I believe it

“Oh you’re a socialist but you’ve consumed a product? Pff”

Is the blueprint the actual Bible?