HEAR YE HEAR YE! Ken Bone speaks with me to reflect on his Big Moment from 2016, how it changed his life, how he worked through it in therapy and — most importantly — his favorite animes. open.spotify.com/episode/5u6t6A…

It's already my eighth memeversary. Time is a meaningless concept at this point.

Oh my God! My favorite author Jason Pargin, author of John Dies at the End, etc used my name for a joke in his last tiktok! I don't normally geek out over that sort of thing, but I respect the guy so much I couldn't help it. Buy his new book. Seriously, it's amazing. tiktok.com/t/ZP88NNLEY/

According to my "for you" notifications this morning the Kamala Harris interview was a disastrous home run in which she appeared calm, unhinged, and collected, and was such a triumphant vibe of self-destructive command of the issues that it will end both her and Trump

They're too nice for a bra. They deserve a

We got the tree up. Gandalf is a big fan.

This woman made no actionable or imminent threat. She doesn't even own a gun. Now she's on $100k bond and looking at 15 years for being mean on the phone. Are we the UK now? Disgraceful.

Luigi and his lawyer showing up to court dressed as me. I didn't see that coming.

Today, we laid my grandmother, Linda, to rest. She was like a second mother and will be dearly missed. Saying goodbye is the price we pay to have wonderful, loving people in our lives. It hurt, but it was worth it.

Any graphic designers out there looking for a project? I need some logo designs for a rec league sports team. Stuff to put on hats or jerseys. Pays cash, no "pay for exposure" bs. Please reply of interested.

A U.S. citizen born in the state of Georgia has been arrested for entering Florida as an “unauthorized alien.” During a hearing in Leon County, his mother presented his birth certificate and Social Security card, but the judge said she had no authority to release him. Juan Carlos

Some old friends of mine are relaunching a project I used to endorse, DonorDex. They are looking for people who need tools for political fundraising to be beta testers. I'm not affiliated with the company, but I think it's worth a look if you are trying to fund a campaign.

Pain.

'Murican Pope. Nice. They must have found oil under Vatican City.

Pope Bobby P from Chicago. The first Pope to consecrate Malort as a sacrament.

🚨 UNREAL CATCH ALERT 🚨 We just dropped the play of the year 🤯 Brian Kenney ran BACKWARDS full speed, dove OVER the fence and snagged it ONE-HANDED 😱 This isn't a game, it's a MOVIE 🎬🔥 SportsCenter you seeing this?! #SCtop10 #WiffleBallLegend

The wiffleball team that I coach is getting new uniforms. I don't suppose any businesses out there might like to sponsor us? Just throwing it out there

Ted Cruz thinks he's Luke Skywalker. Nah, man. He's this guy. The one who only exists to kiss the Emperor's ass.