I just saw a girl on the train google pictures of feet and send it to a dude and he sent her $100 on Apple Pay..... Brilliant. I love a business woman.

HOW DID IT GO FROM GETTING DARK AT 8PM TO GETTING DARK AT 4 PM?!????? I might be terrible at math but ONE fucking hour doesn’t account for the other THREE hours of depression that got added to my day

men who send good morning texts have big dicks for sureeeee

If he doesn’t make you cum, then don’t come back.

wow once you get a man that calls you princess and treats you like one there really is no coming back from that like hi hello yes we love this mans issa vibe

I swear I’m too fucking old for Snapchat because I never remember wtf I said to someone and it’s like I have early onset Alzheimer’s or something

ok let’s be honest there’s only so long I can be single between relationships before I go fucking crazy because men out here are absolute trash where my husband at???? I wanna go home smh

no one: absolutely no one: me: god damn I need a glass of wine up in this bitch

you’re in his texts, and I’m on his block list... we are not the same

depression hits differently as an adult smh

oh wow you can really tell when you start dating someone who is actually good for your mental health like YAS sis we love this for you

This is dating as an adult. A toothbrush is equivalent to a drawer for your shit. Amazing.

me as your gf: “I can't wait to take my clothes off and put one of your T-shirts on and cuddle you with a cocktail while we watch Netflix”

boyfriend: “goodnight sweet baby angel 😘” me: “are you mad or something??” boyfriend: “no why?” me: “idk you always put 3 kissy faces”

I’m so over men with girlfriends that try to low key flirt and hit me up like get the fuck away from me bro I’ll slide into her DMs if you won’t find your chill

surprising me with coffee is my love language

I want MySpace back, because it kept bitches in line. Reorganizing your friends/crushes on your profile was such a boss move. Like sorry Katie looks like you’re number 2 today, and brad you’re not even on the roster anymore... better luck next week if you step up your game

standing in his walk-in closet as he’s kissing my neck he points to a side he cleared out and says “that’s your space now” like ok well let me pick my heart up off the floor real quick because it fell out my ass

Anything goes right now like I be sleepin till 1pm and making a cocktail for my breakfast and staying awake till 4am watching a Netflix show I’ve already watched 3 times before?????

who would have thought that my hands would be consuming more alcohol than my mouth these days god damn