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Cindy, your tv is leaking

The time lapse in my Twitter history makes it look like I’ve been incarcerated since ‘17

Really, Uber, this is your best guess for my current pickup location?

can’t find shoes. upset and ready for a bev

Robert ❤️s oral

University of Houston’s logo is sOoOoOoOo original

The double porterhouse gets the people GOING (via IG:tomkoontz)

Sometimes it be like that

Sometimes, there just aren’t enough rocks

How bout them bears

Rye or pumpernickel

Not my chair not my problem

who else though the Washington Nationals logo was Walgreens i can't be the only one

woulda been good if school taught about insurance, credit, loans, &taxes, but good thing i learned the cursive alphabet &pythagorean theorem

taco bell literally just told me they are out of beef, rice, & chicken.

umm..: grandpa... ???

i like Nickelback. there i said it

09/26/17 my dad has an iPhone 4 goodnight

just woke up from a detailed dream about emptying the dishwasher so that's where i'm at in life

switching the stairs from carpet to hard wood is the worst thing my parents have ever done to me