Q: Why did the WASP cross the road? A: To get to the middle.

Live free or die.

UNIX *is* user friendly. It's just selective about who its friends are. ― unknown

Heavy, adj.: Seduced by the chocolate side of the force.

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

We all know that no one understands anything that isn't funny.

Justice is incidental to law and order. ― J. Edgar Hoover

Hey what? Where? When? (Are you confused as I am?)

You will soon meet a person who will play an important role in your life.

Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure.

Q: What do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night? A: Stay awake and wonder if there's a dog.

"You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they don't." ― Dagwood Bumstead

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed. ― Southern California Oracle

There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again. ― Clint Eastwood

California is a fine place to live ― if you happen to be an orange. ― Fred Allen

You will live a long, healthy, happy life and make bags of money.

Why does opportunity always knock at the least opportune moment?

He who laughs, lasts.

Godwin's Law: As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.

Mencken and Nathan's Fifteenth Law of The Average American: The worst actress in the company is always the manager's wife.