first chiropractor appointment today I hope they break my neck

I’m definitely the type of person that would be secretly married

got a free afternoon off and my coworker gave me a crisp dc roadie this is heaven for a corporate slave

taking a sip of beer and then letting out a big “ahhhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what shes missing

let another long weekend begin

happy pride month to these two!

heaven is a place on earth

we need a slur for people who constantly use AI and ChatGPT

“unavoidable” I live in texas and haven’t heard a single verse of this album

july is about kissing and making out

IM GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE

My friends devastatingly lost their home and 3 sweet dogs in a fire Monday night. Please share and donate if you can to help cover emergency expenses for them and their pets ❤️gofund.me/c9123e07

my ability to remember none of my drive home is truly remarkable

i think this is actually a good approach

how it feels to ask someone if theyre gonna eat their pickle

wearing this to my email job

think i’m gonna get back into drunk texting

fireball friday don’t be a bitch

nine is rhyme