Keaton Patti (@keatonpatti) 's Twitter Profile
Keaton Patti

@keatonpatti

I've written for @NewYorker, @Marvel, @TheOnion, @ComedyCentral, @McSweeneys, but mainly for you, the reader.

👇Check out my bot book!

ID: 472301455

linkhttps://linktr.ee/IForcedABot calendar_today23-01-2012 20:19:35

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Keaton Patti (@keatonpatti) 's Twitter Profile Photo

If anyone is an Emmy voter out there, consider voting for The Oscars and Jimmy Kimmel Live, two shows I was fortunate enough to write for. If you're not an Emmy voter, I still love you, but please do better.

If anyone is an Emmy voter out there, consider voting for The Oscars and Jimmy Kimmel Live, two shows I was fortunate enough to write for.

If you're not an Emmy voter, I still love you, but please do better.
Keaton Patti (@keatonpatti) 's Twitter Profile Photo

"She was Indian all the way and then all of the sudden she made a turn and she went, she became a Black person. Anyways, do you want any ketchup?"

"She was Indian all the way and then all of the sudden she made a turn and she went, she became a Black person. Anyways, do you want any ketchup?"
Keaton Patti (@keatonpatti) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Jerry: I'm in Nosferatu's thrall. George: You're in his thrall? Jerry: I'm in his thrall! George: Get out of his thrall. Jerry: You can't get out of a thrall. That's the thing with a thrall! You're never through with the thrall! KRAMER BARGES IN Kramer: Well, I got the plague!

Jerry: I'm in Nosferatu's thrall.
George: You're in his thrall? 
Jerry: I'm in his thrall!
George: Get out of his thrall.
Jerry: You can't get out of a thrall. That's the thing with a thrall! You're never through with the thrall!
KRAMER BARGES IN
Kramer: Well, I got the plague!