I’m starting a YouTube channel that will just contain videos of me transporting myself from job to job on the verge of a mental breakdown but not quite losing it because a 17 year old rich, white YouTuber told me to just drink water and stay positive and life will work itself out

My father wants me to marry rich and my sister wants me to be an instagram influencer but I went to college so I’ve decided to meet them halfway and join a pyramid scheme.

Life update! Last night I ate chocolate frosting and Cheetos for dinner then cried in the shower for 20 minutes and today I haven’t done that yet but there’s still time anything’s possible

I’m gonna start a YouTube channel that’s just videos of me roasting Bumble profiles of men in the area while I drink wine by myself unable to commit to a relationship due to my crippling fear of rejection and general hatred of straight men my parents are gonna LOVE this

if Spider-Man is out of the MCU then I’m out this bitch goodbye

The problem I’m running into right now is I want to livestream the 30 hour road trip I’ll be taking with my father next month but I also will need my phone to play Aaron’s Party on repeat what do I do

NEWYEARNEW ME I got kicked out of my twitter account a few months ago but Jim at ATT helped me so much I love you Jim thank you this ones for you buddy

Hey dad, very unhelpful ok

I prepared this list for my doctors appointment last week but when I met my doctor he seemed really nice and I didn’t want him to worry about me so I didn’t say anything so if anyone can help me out with these conditions I’d appreciate it

I’ve been thinking about this for days look at how well I tied this back I’m going to write a book

I didn’t think this needed to be said but if you’ve seen me naked please don’t add me on LinkedIn I don’t need that kind of endorsement

Year after year I stay up till midnight to ring in the new year like being awake isn’t the worst part of my day. Not this year, goodnight everyone

Ok who signed me up for eharmony

“Is there something you can pinpoint about this guy you don’t like or is the only red flag that he likes you?” “That is the only red flag” Therapy is working

Starting a YouTube series called “is this common or should I address it in therapy” then just go about my day to day life

The height difference between Joey King and Jacob Elordi gives me worms there I said it

I found my Outback Steakhouse gift card things are looking up

I’m back on twitter do you guys think I could pull Pitbull be honest