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When you get into an Uber and the directions on the drivers screen are some sort of Asian lettering. 😧 (Nothing against Asians, I prefer when whoever is driving me can read the road signs.) My life is in Denfang’s hands now.

I’ve never made an espresso or latte in my life, but it’s Mothers Day and my mom has a restaurant. I wanted to be with her and help her out, so I am now a barista. My test cups on the bartenders have been met with rave reviews of “not bad” and “okay”, so what could go wrong.

The jury and everyone in the courtroom has been seeing this face on my water bottle everyday for the past 2 months. When the jurors are done deliberating, should I poll them on whether they think it’s a cat or a seal?

Anyone else want to know what Trump saw go down in North Korea? Any guesses?

Now all the Swifties and BeyHive know the pain I’ve been struggling with ever since Monday when James Taylor got cut.

You should be required to have a minimum number of flights taken in your life to qualify for TSA pre-check. Stood behind a woman in the line this morning who thought she had pre-check because she “pre-checked” into her flight yesterday. 💀

Speaking at a legal conference in Vegas this weekend and just roundtripped a few grand playing blackjack. Don’t feel anything. Crypto has jaded me hard.

Trying to figure out if the majority of crypto twitter 1) genuinely doesn’t understand how government institutions and the legal system work, 2) are straight up brainwashed, or 3) are just coping. Retail isn’t coming near this group of delusional dummies.

How? By cutting into the obscene profits of insurance companies? (He’s definitely not doing that.) By capping damages so that injured people ultimately pay the price? I work on behalf of injured people everyday and capping damages would be catastrophic for innocent victims.

The world will not escape this face.

Having a wedding reception the same week as the presidential election in which decency, character, truth, and my rights as a woman are on the ballot, might not have been the best decision for my anxiety.

Despite people on the TL trying to convince you that crypto is a partisan issue; it isn’t. Just look at the candidates Stand With Crypto🛡️ has endorsed- basically an even split of Republicans and Democrats.