The Christmas season with children is like taking on a part time job. It’s magical! But omg it’s only Dec 8 and I’m exhausted.

Sure yes he’s cute, but he’s also #complicit

My children tag teaming every weird virus floating around over the last month and a half has been *special*

Our snowy little town, cartoon-ized.

Trying to teach the social listening AI that words like "shredding" "insane" and "dumping" are in fact positive comments in our industry.

Me trying to spell queue without spellcheck

Summer camp sign-ups round 1: sign-ups started at 12 p.m. When I confirmed my sign-up at 12:01 p.m. my kids were already waitlisted. SO IT BEGINS.

Parents bonding in the adrenaline fueled trenches of camp sign ups is real

Why did every 40 year old man have a stint selling Cutco knives when he was 19

No one in my office: Me, designing yet another print ad: Yes, I'm being followed by a drop shadow DROP SHADOW, DROW SHADOW I'm illegible without a drop shadow DROP SHADOW, DROW SHADOW

I remember as a kid in the 90s people disparaging old hippies, and now here I am, a disparaged old hipster.

I would like to thank The Youth™️ for bringing back bike shorts and big T-shirt’s as an outfit. It is now my summer uniform.

I hearby motion to just refer to it as Twix.

Just signed up for my first college class since college. Excited/scared - it's been a whiiiiiile

Ordered a Sweater Weather coffee from a young barista that was like “search sweater weather it an snl thing!” Oh sweet child I know and it’s the only reason I ordered this over sugared chaos. I saw it when it aired 👵

Have the menu options ever not recently changed?

That thing when you’re grumpy and someone says “why are you grumpy?” and YOUR CUP OF GRUMPY OVERFLOWETH

Why when my friends stay the night do they look up the WiFi and say “Oh, you’re ‘Indubitably’ aren’t you” and I say “Indubitably!” and then they leave

Wore a jaunty little scarf to work today and not one person commented on it. They do not deserve my jaunty little scarf.

I finally got to see Hamilton and I think my main takeaway is you should go on fun trips so you don’t accidentally have an affair and destroy your marriage and career and cause your son to die in a duel trying to defend your honor.