Popsicle at 3am is the kind of insomnia I can get behind.

Just used the term ‘spite fuck’ in a serious work meeting and I’m not sure if the room thinks I’m rad or are signing a group letter to HR.

This is America.

My dad is visiting and it’s 104° outside. Him: I could go for Chinese or Italian food.

Had a really rough day, so Jesse von Doom is making me watch Meatballs with him to cheer me up.

My boss just sent me a message ‘I am getting the wheel of death every time I type to you’, and that is my week, folks.

Imagine if RHCP show was the best you’ve ever seen.

Every time a really bad guy gets exposed as a really bad guy, there’s this phenomenon of internet people noting some perceived positives. Rape isn’t a line item in your ‘cons’ list. You don’t get to offset it because the offender gave money to charity once.

I watched a notable-at-the-time singer from a band high five his bandmates and manager after he ‘banged’ a famous 16yo in the toilets at the NME awards. These dudes operate with so much permission.

Going to sign off every work email with ‘kick rocks, buddy’ from now on.

I went to dinner with my partner and a bunch of his colleagues and I was anxious about not having anything to talk about. I never expected the question ‘so what’s the deal with Sam black church?’

My 8yo went to a fundraiser dance camp today. When I picked her up she said ‘I think I like Rihanna’. What an ROI on that donation.

Twitter just reminded me I’ve been on here for 15 years. 15 YEARS.

Rewatching The Lost Boys and there’s a scene where the tough looking beach teens are headbanging en masse to a beach concert with a sax band.

Sometimes you’re sitting at home alone on a Tuesday night and you remember what a banger Bonkers by Dizzee Rascal is.

I booked a task rabbit to set up some outdoor shades and the task was assigned as ‘general mounting’ and I’m wondering why this isn’t more of a running gag (yes I’m a teenager)

Portland has had a teachers’ strike since November 1st. Why does this country love to hate essential workers so GD hard?

I just found out that Bill Watterson (the genius behind Calvin and Hobbes) gave a commencement speech in 1990 and it's incredible 1/2

2/2

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