Brisbane! I am launching my newest comedy show, Shellshocked to the Sit Down Comedy Club, Paddington! Featuring a line up of all military comedians. Tickets at standup.com.au! #comedy #brisbane #military

If a man is mansplaining on Twitter, is he xplaining?

Every Mum everywhere knows exactly where Kate Middleton is #kate #PrincessCatherineOfWales #PrincessKate #royals #royal #royalfamily #WhereIsKate #PrincessCatherine #prince #london #england #uk #queen #king #KateGate #KateMiddleton #katespiracy #mum #mom #parent #parenting

Hey just a heads up, if I ignore your messages it’s just because I’m half asleep or hyper focusing But if you ignore my messages you hate me, everyone hates me, my parents aren’t proud, and that time in high school I called teacher ‘Mum’ is gonna play on repeat in my head at 2am

People won't remember what you did. They won't remember your job, your status, how rich you were. They will only remember the way you made them feel. And you made them feel awkward as f**k, and cringe hard. So a lot of people are gonna remember that, and also tell others

P Diddy claiming to be innocent then immediately f**king off to the Bahamas is like someone claiming to have ‘nothing to do with cocaine’ and then going to Columbia on ‘unrelated business’.

Kid: Mum can I play Sims Laundry? Me: We have laundry at home Simpsons accurate predictions BILL OAKLEY Mike Scully

About to start uploading stand up bits. At this point I'd like to remind everyone that I have done my DNA and I am a part of every single race, have signed up for every single religion and I do change how I identify my sexuality depending on who is in the room. Okay thanks

Dating a pro footballer is just like wearing an underwire bra. At first, they provide extra support but eventually you end up getting stabbed in the chest

They say success it the best revenge. Okay then... uh in that case, what's the second best?

Does anyone else suspect that this is actually what Chat GPT is? #thesimpsons

I think the duolingo owl acts so passive aggressively cause he's trying to impress the hooters owl

Modern capitalism trauma is weird I have a nightmare one night about some horrific thing that happened in PNG The next night I have a nightmare that I’m late for a flight and my bag are 3kg overweight And both I wake up feeling the same 😂

WW2 was a wild time #comedy #standupcomedy #comedian #standupcomedian #pun #ww2 #cocochanel #extra #pilot #aerobatics #aero #pilot #flying #aeroplane #aviator #aviatrix #veteran #health #war #worldwar #joke #joking #fun #funny #sunshinecoast #nightout #haha #army #military

All the people yesterday caught out not carrying cash have clearly never had to bribe a cop in a third world country over a rogue scooter incident involving three people and a capuchin and it shows

The spell began to gradually spread over the castle, the occupants cursed to turn into objects. Mrs Potts turned into a pot Lumiere, French for light, turned into a candle Armoire turned into an armoire ‘Aw F**k’ said the groundskeeper, John

instagram.com/p/DDb5GLEvmF3/…

#raygun #rachaelgunn #breakdancing #breakdance #breakdancer #olympics #australia #kangaroo #sport #sports #law #legal #court #lawyer #solicitor #judge #judgejudy #copy #copywriting #copyright #comedy #parody #comedian #skit #standup #comedyskit #standupcomedy #australian #animal

‘We got more mail about that than any other episode.’ 30 years ago today The Simpsons visited Australia and, well, we weren’t very happy about it 😡 🦘 The show was even condemned in parliament! Great fun chatting to Josh Weinstein & BILL OAKLEY about ‘Bart v Australia’

Save the date! Oct 16 be there