employer: what are your weaknesses

me: crab rangoon

[bene gesserit voice] that's that me espresso

ymao (yapping my ass off)

me when the group chat doesn't respond to 'what are we doing this weekend'

if Sisyphus had Instagram:

And remember that a 5 in NYC would be an 8 almost anywhere else in the country

was in a coffee shop in bk when the earthquake hit and the only comment we heard in real time was “i wish it actually ended things”

NYC got an earthquake before an erewhon

earthquake twitter is the fucking best i love it here on x dot com when the tectonic plates suddenly collide and we all enjoy a cheeky laugh about it 🥰

What requests are we allowed to make of our friends? And what does it mean to live those promises?

saw dune part 1 and 2 back to back. yes dune part 2 is the greatest film ever made. more importantly I am team worm. I do not care about anyone else. team worm. I will buy worm merch much greater than a slutty popcorn bucket. hats, apparel, rugs, etc. just so we’re clear

Jesus was not the only one who was betrayed

just put this The Bear(s) drawing up as a print 🥪

we’re at laser tag and mads is this group of 14 year olds’ lisan al gaib

spot the placeholders in your life

i’ve made everyone i know watch one day on netflix and all of the ancillary content is just as devastating

Pixar’s first rule of storytelling