Moments before he threw up cat shit on me.. this is the scariest picture I’ve ever seen in my fucking life

my friend once accidentally pronounced fugue state 'foogoo state' and now she could be telling us a story about the worst day of her life and we just go damn man you must have been in an absolute foogoo state

this ruined my day. i'm sick to my stomach. somebody go play with him right fucking now

do you ever hook up w someone and you’re like oh nooooo my family would hate you

one minute you're young, the next minute you're defending your new pair of Crocs

might quit my job to focus on summer

“how was work today” oh i try not to think about that

This will make me cry laughing every single time

can’t believe it’s beautiful outside and i have to spend all day sending emails to make a corporation money

Walking to party eating bag of popcorn and a man on the street just pointed at me and said “I never even considered that!!”

did matty healy write this

If i eated soap. I dont eat it bc i did. No i didnt ❤️

i would beg to disagree but begging disagrees with me

Sean evans: So happy to have you on Hot Ones, so your most recent project
me: *already drank my whole glass of milk* Can i have another milk

my aunt in the cult got my ass i fear

there are actually 8 stages of grief. you're forgetting 'making little jokes about it'

but this is my emotional support confusingly intimate friendship

actually i take it back, you can put baby in a corner. i’m overwhelmed and it’s quieter back here