Being greedy and taking Ekitike off us was a honking decision if Barca/ PSG/ Bayern decide to be serious next summer

Town up in flames

Love it

🚨EXCLUSIVE: Understand #NUFC interest in Porto + Spain forward Samu IS Genuine. ⚠️ Sources in Portugal say striker ‘would rather kill himself’ than join Eddie Howe’s side. Interest from Chelsea, Spurs, Man Utd, Arsenal, L’pool & Man City... ❌ Wissa deal unlikely. Dunno why.

I'm Malick Thiaw. I'm Newcastle United. 😍

This has been the best afternoon of the summer for me Woltemade is the dogs bollocks and a tidy tidy draw… is dopamine back?

🚨💣 BREAKING: Nick Woltemade to Newcastle, here we go! Agreement in place after official bid accepted. Fee over €80m plus add-ons, medical in England in the next 24 hours with travel being arranged right now. Long term deal agreed with Woltemade who says yes to #NUFC. ⚪️⚫️🇩🇪

Seskoffender absolutely MOGGED 😹😹😹🚬🚬🚬

Overpay or not, we could not have done this season without 2 strikers so I’m happy. Markets on its arse now anyways so £50/55ms for someone with the same NPG as Is*k last season is whatever, just glad he’s over the line.

Yoane Wissa - Ensalada

This guy is genuinely ill, making up fees and publicly declaring their new striker is essentially a stop gap… no wonder Bayern stocks are in free fall.

Average experience trying to rotate through the isles in Lidl on a Sunday

Today I feel German🇩🇪

Eddie Howe has changed my whole existence

I don’t understand how 2018 doesn’t have the same pr as 16