I trust Putin more than that bumbling pedophile resident and Democrats. If you disagree, I don’t care. It’s how I feel.

You may say that I am a Black Russian.

What do you call it when a midget waves at you?

A microwave

A good wife always forgives her husband…

When she is wrong.

Democrats only care about killing babies, normalize and legalize pedophilia, and making biological males compete in women’s sport.

It’s no coincidence that justice Ketanji Brown cannot define women. It’s setting the foundation for later.

By the way, fuck Palestine.

My wife and I were lying in bed last night. I was feeling frisky. I was gently massaging her and rubbing across her body. I said, “I’m going to make you the happiest woman in the world.”

She whispered, “I’ll miss you.”

I’m feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years.

But I finished it in 18 months.

I got carded at the liquor store yesterday and my Blockbuster card fell out.

The cashier said never mind.

I was having a high speed chase and finally pulled over. The cop said, “I was originally going to pull you over because your taillight is out. Why the hell did you take off like that?”

I replied, “Last week my wife ran off with a cop and I thought you were trying to give her

My dad once told me to make little things count.

So I am teaching math to midgets.

Did you hear about the guy who pickpocketed a midget?

How can anybody stoop so low?

I went to a bar last night. I sat on a barstool next to a guy. I yelled at him, “I slept with your mother!” Everyone became quit, waiting to see what the other guy will do. I yelled again, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”

The guy replied, “Go home dad, you’re drunk.”

I have the most loving wife. I woke up last night while she was holding a pillow tightly over my face.

She said it was to protect me from COVID.

I asked my wife this morning, “Honey, what are your plans for the day?”

She replied, “I don’t like making plans for the day because the word premeditated gets thrown around in the courtroom.”

I saw 2 kids beating up a kid in an alley, I had to step in to help.

He didn’t stand a chance against the 3 of us.

The cackling hyena aka Kameltoe

It takes two to create trouble in a marriage.

The wife and mother-in-law.

Not to brag but I made six figures last year.

I was also named worst employee at the toy factory.

My wife and I went to the store earlier. She had on Steve Harvey morning show on the radio. I was in shocked and pleasantly surprised.

The listeners is majority black. A commercial came on and it was saying Joe Biden has replaced the black community with illegal aliens. A lady

I told my wife, “Honey, i invited a friend over for dinner.” She said, “Are you crazy?, the dishes are dirty, the house needs cleaning, I haven’t went shopping, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy dinner.” I said, “I know that.” She asked, “Then why in earth did you invite him