When a nacho is too soggy, but you find a dry chip to save the day.

News headlines in the 90s: Man walks dog through neighborhood News headlines now: UFO vapes vaccine cloud at Proud Boys rally. You won’t believe what happens next

DeSantis both sounds like brand of urinal and looks like someone I would piss on.

Joaquin Penis

This’ll show him.

Oprah is good at everything except choosing fake doctors.

It still blows my mind that Edamame is short for Edward’s Mommy Got It Goin’ On.

It must be such a bummer to cover your Humvee in a matte-camo wrap only to realize it won’t make your daddy love you.

I, for one, am looking forward to our new supreme twitter leader Elon and the hoards of sexy crypto-bot followers that are to come.

(To the tune of the Muppet Babies theme song) 🎶 I’VE GOT SCABIES 🎶

The Da Vinci Chode.

Great. Now I’m hard at this pumpkin patch.

I bought the pumpkin and now we’re in love.

Well, I just hit the tip of my peen with the shower squeegee so now I have to cut off the whole hog.

Friendly reminder: loving The Nightmare Before Christmas is not the same as having a personality.

A new #PeaceOfChaos podcast 115 | I don't want to be appropriate w/ JON SCHABL podcasts.apple.com/ie/podcast/115…