If you wear flip flops you should be killed and eaten.

I’m soooooooo drunk I love my friends and cars on twitter.

The saints whipping out the ugliest uniform known to man to start the worst season in NFL history 🔥🔥🔥 I hate this team so much ⚜️⚜️⚜️

I think if I had superpowers I’d probably use them mostly for comedy.

Facing the fact that I’m the one friend who’s too woke.

I’m sad that I’ll never ever get to take a Rorschach test.

Emily Wilson you are my goat I love classics go classics.

I’ve started calling things “the goats pajamas” when they’re really cool. It’s a combo of the cats pajamas and greatest of all time. I think it’ll catch on.

Bro I think we're transient...always changing...never set...

If you’re in the know you just call it TGP.

Cheerwine I love you!!! 🥰🥰🥰

Bonz is learning to skateboard let’s freaking go I got a new skateboard it’s really cool.

We gotta start using this emoji more ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥.

If you’re not playing korfball I don’t know what to tell you.

I fall in love with whoever gives me my food at chick fil a.

Bonk is yearning rn it’s yearning hours.

Thinking….#psychology

I need to have a child RIGHT NOW!!!

This is the single most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

Wearing my BPS (big pink sweatshirt).