Christmas special opening 1995

To be nepo-net-neutral celeb parents should have to find and equally promote one unconnected regular background actor/singer for every one of their children they connect up in the entertainment industry #nepobaby

I’m really tired and this has sent me hahaha

I once took the pee out of a pirate. He was furious.

Sometimes you just have to bow down before genius

Bonus radio moment: When Tony Blackburn did this hell of a radio link on Radio 2

Why has nobody twigged that the Traitors must have turned on Ash and voted for her and so examined who she was beefing with at the round table? #TheTraitors

I had a really excruciatingly painful second labour and the most life-affirming bit was when the spinal block took effect

Why do none of them twig that each Traitor knows who the other Traitors are?! #TheTraitors

🎥 Female football legends alert! 🎥 Get ready for the weekend footie action with our Corinthians film trailer 👇Every £10 donation to our crowdfunder gets an awesome personalised certificate! And you’re putting women back into history too! igg.me/at/corinthians…

Elton John’s ‘don’t do drugs’ tale is quite something

Unexpected cat name at the rescue centre

16yo just googling how to get diagnosed with bone spurs #nationalservice

The Rt Hon Jordan Pickford MP Jordan Pickford has been appointed Secretary of State for Defence Ministry of Defence 🇬🇧.

ROGER FEDERER, CUCKOO CLOCKS, EXPENSIVE CHOCOLATE, POINTY LITTLE ARMY KNIVES, MORALLY QUESTIONABLE SOURCES OF WEALTH. YOUR BOYS TOOK ONE HELL OF A BEATING.

England have never missed a penalty under Keir Starmer.

Just asked Nigella which tech company is having a nightmare of a day

I thought she had massive feet 😂😂😜😜

I'm off to The Punctuator of the Year awards tonight. The winner gets presented with a posh trophy.