Just Announced: Alonzo Bodden, Negin Farsad, Josh Gondelman & Dulcé Sloan bring a hilarious night of comedy to our stage on the waitwait Stand-Up Tour coming Sep 5! It's not every day you get to see your favorite panelists unfiltered & live. Get 🎟️now: bit.ly/4dDfIuq

How can you not love hearing Alison Leiby tell you all about Rizz The Cat??? youtube.com/watch?v=Avycu5…

It seems like more publications are dipping their toes back (or newly) into print lately, and I think that is really cool and interesting! But ALSO I want to shout out the Flagrant team for being a leading voice announcing "digital is dead" for years now!

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

There are so many Teslas on the road in Miami I feel like I could write “100 bitcoins” on a piece of printer paper and sell it for a million dollars on any street corner.

This is one of the most heartbreaking pieces of art in American history.

I have been told to stop stealing muffins from the bakery. Unfortunately, it’s the only way to keep my lucrative muffin stand in business. Everyone is fine with this.

I’m laughing so hard at Adam Sandler’s new comedy special and it feels like a vindication of my taste as a twelve-year-old.

Happy birthday to Maris Kreizman, my favorite person in the whole world. People (sometimes strangers) tell me all the time how brilliant and beautiful and generous and hilarious Maris is, and every time I am like YEAH DUH I KNOW I AM OBSESSED WITH HER!!!

My book is coming out in 19 days and it is an Amazon editor's pick this month, what about a juicy little pre-order for yourself? amazon.com/Reason-See-You…

This week! I’m doing shows in Ft. Lauderdale, Orlando, Tampa, and Atlanta with the waitwait standup tour!!!

Scully: Mulder be serious. You can’t possibly believe that. Mulder:

Ian is a true visionary.

People acting like “what to do about child care” is rocket science, the answer is fund it. This is literally a problem you throw money at. You hire and train staff, you invest in existing infrastructure and build more, you make it free. Extremely simple.

Florida so far!

At what point will the execs who make decisions like these realize they don't have what it takes to make it in the entertainment industry, move back home, and go to grad school to become therapists? x.com/Variety/status…

*eminem's ears perk up*