About eight years ago they had Hillary Clinton up 11 points in the polls. You can't trust polls, you have to vote.

My wife said that Merrick Garland has moved very quickly to indict Trump. My wife is a geologist but that’s beside the point.

Kenny Akers

I’m just going to leave this here.

At the urinal in an I-95 rest stop bathroom: Siri’s voice (from my back pocket): Turn left. Man to the left of me: Please don’t.

I am truly shocked that Donald is “too exhausted” to do interviews. He eats so well and works out so frequently.

Hi. Black guy from America here. The answer is: White people

You have about five seconds to leave. I can’t hold him back much longer.

Hey Fareed, in your opening, why didn't you note that Trump has been convicted of 34 felonies by a jury? CNN

If Trump wins the popular vote but loses the Electoral College vote, MAGAs will be screaming to get rid of the Electoral College.

until the day i die i will never understand how this wasn’t the end of it

So someone just showed up as a mailman. They delivered the mail, and when offered they took a pack of M&Ms.

If you're in line to sell off your DJT stock👏STAY👏IN👏LINE

On the bright side, we now have an answer to the Fermi Paradox

Good thing Judge Juan Merchan avoided election interference by delaying Trump’s sentencing for 34 felony convictions.