An apparition appears in your room, alongside a more successful looking doppelganger of yourself. Apparition: " - and THIS is what you would be!" Doppelganger: "Oh my god! Spare me these twisted visions, specter! I've learned my lesson!" (both vanish) You: Hey what the fuck

Technically you weren’t standing for it until you did, literally stand for it and leave the stage, you complete lettuce.

Oh hello Britain 😳 That blue line is activity in the UK spiking past all of the other countries on Bluesky right now. Welcome, and invite a friend to join the fun! bsky.app/download🦋

TV is great because you’ll hear about a show that’s on a platform you don’t have because they keep raising their prices even though there are adverts and the show costs 3billion an episode and the series is 3 episodes long but don’t worry it’s been cancelled already.

nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping

You’re not tricking me into being a wasp sympathiser, Mr Wasp.

when you triple check an email before sending

David json

A usually reliable source tells me that the North Korean soldiers who have deployed to Russia have never had unfettered access to the internet before. As a result, they are gorging on pornography.

What the fuck, America.

batman comic

Tuesdays are the worst so here is the funniest video of all time

Exodus

Whatever I did, whatever I said I didn’t mean it. I just want #chuback for good Chuba Akpom