The problem with Dr. Google is not that it’s wrong (it’s often correct). The problem is that all queries lead to cancer - which is not wrong, cancer can cause almost any symptom, it’s just very very very unlikely for most common things. Human doctors hide that fact a bit better.

cold 🥑 I’ve had parents bring their children to the ER to figure out why they have brown spots on their feet that won’t wash off. I show them a photo of a walnut tree and say “is there one of these in your yard?” “Why yes, yes there is.”

The words moon, month and menses have the same word root.

The antimalarial artemisinin is derived from a species of wormwood.

Heads should roll more often.

My heaviest patient ever was 950 pounds. He hadn’t gotten out of bed in 2 years and hadn’t left his room in 4 years.

I suspect many prehistoric peoples figured out c-section in obstructed labor. This could be done with sharp stone tools, not just metal blades. The large majority of mothers probably didn’t survive, but some likely did.

On both equinoxes, the sun rises due east and sets due west (for most latitudes).

Medicine is really hard sometimes. A heart attack can cause indigestion instead of the symptoms a textbook says it “should” cause.

Tale as old as time: orthopedist says follow up in 6 weeks, patient is still having pain at 6 weeks, MRI ordered which shows only the known injury, no change in the plan, orthopedist says give it more time, pain is gone after 8-10 weeks.

These are the facts that ER doctors must never say aloud to patients and their parents. It’s always possible that some mild symptom is a horrible disease. But it’s very very very unlikely.

Some doctors have resting db voice. Don’t take it personally.

Fentanyl is strong stuff, 0.1 mg is a decent dose for adults.

Not sure which doctor power is more useful: writing prescriptions or writing work/school notes.

If you eat more than one magnet they can stick together and pinch your intestines. Flesh in between the magnets can’t get blood flow, so becomes necrotic, causing intestinal rupture, abdominal infection, sepsis and death.

There are more ways to communicate than ever in history by a light year. Yet doctors’ offices seem worse at communicating with their patients than ever before.

The word “medgasm” refers to the excitement a medical student feels from seeing a patient with a very rare disease.

“Alcocidal” describes a patient who comes to the ER drunk and suicidal, then sobers up and is no longer suicidal. Many such cases.

When you inhale, you’re really just creating a vacuum inside the thorax and the atmosphere pushes its way in.

Many doctor’s visits could have been an email.