Gonna wear nothing but jorts and a shirt i ripped the sleeves off of to church sunday

So basically in "laidmans" terms your mom and i are seeing each other. Haha. Im banging your mom. Laid mans terms.

Prank callin kids help phone kinda night #coorslight

*playin the VLT at doolys* cmon, cmon daddy needs a new ozzy osbourne car seat cover for is dodge neon

*chillin with shoenice and using his deodorant without asking* dude that was supposed to be my lunch

She steely on my Dan til i dirty work

They were all out of white monster at the gas station this morning

New york gets mad max'd

Moosehead must place its bid before i do

I hate when people are really great at drinking beer. Stop stealing my thing i need this

Me when im getting walked in on: GUYS my dick isnt this freaky all the time, im serious!

New tesla product (my cousins potato gun)

Reply tweet--->

Osama bin drinkin

Car broke down... 2 mountain dew kinda day

Evil dave hester: noooooope!!!

Harlem shake and chill

Thugging it out while putting dishes in the dishwasher

Loading the jam queue with limp bizkit at a girls 22nd taylor swift themed bday party

(Dude who just saw silence of the lambs) yo put on goodbye horses