Trying to call my mum without Facebook 😂 #FacebookDown

Me: I’m goin home, I’ve had enough Boss: what happened? Me: #facebookisdown *storms out* Boss:

Facebook went down and Twitter took the piss – the 18 funniest reactions. thepoke.co.uk/2019/03/14/fac…

People: use your best assets to your advantage Everyone else: *intelligence* *smile* *charm* *tits* *ass* *money* Me: *panicking*

#Piday #happypiday Them: Happy Pi Day!! Me: it’s PIE* Them: no, Pi as in 3.142 Me:

Britain bracing to get ploughed by Hannah with up to 8 inches.

I like music events that aren’t over the top. There aren’t excessive visuals, lasers, lights, props, drugs, alcohol, people... I like music events in my headphones #rave

It is the absolute BEST when everything goes your way. Today is not one of those days.

#crisis 😂

#me #techno

😂😂😂

Lack toes in toddler ants #cheese

#woodstock50 #billcosbyandfriends

Tech Companies: 5G network Consumers: YAYYYYYY Tech Co: might fry your brains Consumers: ohhhhhh ☹️ Tech Co: it’ll be 20x faster though Consumers: YAYYYYYY #5G #fried #letsdiefasterplease

There are two sides to every story. My side and the wrong side.

What I like about Twitter is when you have no followers you’re just talking to yourself twice. #twitter #loner

#minimal #minimaltechno this Friday at Gravity Nightclub in #Houston #texas

Wife: did you eat dinner? Me: yeah W: what did you have? Me: half a pack of cookies W: that’s not proper food... Me: neither is the shite you feed me 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

It’s pay dayyyyyyy and you know what that means!?!? 🤩 It means I can catch up on all my bills until I’m broke again ☹️😂 #adulting #payday