Calling them sport-knit doesn’t make these high waisted monstrosities any better

I woke to find my mother’s legs on my body, and other mysteries of aging

Spelling: Ed McMahan? Ed McMahon? I never got the giant check. I dunno.

Sometimes we clap because they’re good. Sometimes we clap because they’re done. Karaoke

Once upon a Twitter we used to retweet each other.

As it turns out, I’m that girl who will scroll thru 300 pet pics to make sure all of em get a like.

DMs were literally *the only thing* keeping me on this app. If they don't get fixed soon, I'm out.

Sunday mornings dressed in nothing but his shirt and knee socks.

Be selective on who you give your time to, not everyone appreciates it.

Bloom and watch it all fade.

I shaved my legs, what else do you want from me?

Meet me where the sun kisses the sea.

I'm bored but not "play with you" type bored.

I've now reheated the same cup of coffee four time, in case you were curious how my morning is going.

I put the i in Daddy issues.

I refuse to coddle your beliefs just to keep you as a follower.

One laugh can change your mood around in an instant and that is precious. 🥰

I’m just in my own little world lately. It’s nice. 🌎 😊💞